Nineteenth Prophecy: Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend [Video]

[feel_nevermore]

[The feed switches on. Raven is sitting by the lake, staring at the water. The sun is setting behind the horizon. It's almost completely gone. Perfect date setting. Raven talks quietly as if someone was there with her.]

It's the first time you've ever stood me up, Harry. [A slight smirk.] ...And I can't even blame you for it.

[She picks up the PCD and looks just as impassible as always.]

For those who knew him, my boyfriend, Harry Potter is not here anymore.

And it seems that Spike has been sent back too. So if anyone else needs something to bleach their hair, just ask me. I'd hate to see the solution I prepared for him go to waste.

[And she cuts the feed. See Rei? She's learning. It doesn't hurt any less but at least she's getting better at hiding it.]


[Private video to Horst]
We could meet tonight at the bar? If you need to feed. Or whatever.

Comments

[offline]

[taijiya]

[That's a look she recognizes. A look she hates. Sango doesn't even bother responding, just throws herself (somewhat painfully) onto Kirara's back and sends the demon cat hurtling towards the lake.]

[Her dismount is much more calm, though everything in her is taut with concern. She pads hesitantly over to Raven--sits down beside her. Silent.]

[And completely at a loss for words.]

[offline]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

[Raven turns to her as she sits next to her.] You're hurt. [She can sense the other girl's pain over her own dulled feelings.] You should have called out for me. Give me your hand. [Raven's tone is not reproachful, just flat, as she holds her hand out for Sango.]

[offline]

[taijiya]

I've been at the clinic all week, Raven. The only healing left to do is my own body's responsibility. If it weren't for Unohana, I'd be in far worse shape right now.

[But she gives Raven her hand anyway, her expression subdued.]

[offline]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

I don't doubt Mrs Unohana took good care of you. [As soon as their palms brush against each other, all pain is drawn from Sango's body as it passes on to Raven. Who doesn't even feel it for once before it fades away. She just squeezes Sango's hand lightly and lets it go, giving her a weak smile.] It doesn't need the pain to heal itself.

[offline]

[taijiya]

[If Sango had realized that Raven takes the pain on herself, she never would have allowed that. Besides, being painless while still so visibly broken unnerves her. The aches are familiar--a constant companion--as sick and twisted as it seems. And as twisted as it is, having physical pain to focus on distracts her from everything else that's falling apart so quickly before her eyes.]

[But she says nothing. That would be ungrateful.]

Mm. But sometimes it needs the pain to learn the lesson.

[offline]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

[And if it had been any other day, Raven would have asked Sango before doing it. But here she didn't even think. Her brain is in kind of "make all pain disappear" and she did that instinctively.]

I'm sorry the pain will return in a while. I can only take it away for so long... But I could complete the healing too if you wish. [At least this she's gonna ask because it's not so natural as alleviating the pain is. It requires more magic and formal consent from the person to be healed, as far as Raven is concerned.]

Yeah, what doesn't kill you. And so on.

[offline]

[taijiya]

No, it's fine. Probably better this way. And you really don't need to be taking care of people right now, do you?

[A soft, sad, almost vulnerable smile.]

And sometimes maybe you wish it killed you instead of sparing you. But in the end it makes you stronger. And it's what you need to go on, huh?

[offline]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

Why not? Of course, I do. Life goes on. [Keeping herself busy helping others is a nice distraction from her own pain.]

Sometimes, yes. ...I guess.

[offline]

[taijiya]

Three in a row? [De. Ja. Vu.] ...Raven. It's okay to be upset.

[In which Sango is the biggest hypocrite of them all.]

[offline]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

Not for me, no. [She allowed herself to be upset when Alice was sent back. And only made her suffer more, and she got vulnerable enough to let Sonja manipulate her and bring out her anger. Then she fought Castiel. And almost killed the Master. Raven is not letting that happen again.]

[offline]

[taijiya]

Not even for a moment?

[offline]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

Not if I can avoid it.

[She pauses.] Emotions are the trigger of my powers. The stronger they are the more dark energy they unleash. [To the point when she can't control them and becomes a monster that Lucifer would be only too happy to use for his purpose.]

Sometimes I think my life would be so easy if I couldn't feel anything at all. ...And then I meet people like Harry.

[offline]

[taijiya]

[She pushes at her hair, tucking it behind one ear.]

It might be easier, but it wouldn't be better. That's always the problem with taking the easy way out.

[offline]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

True enough.

[Taking the easy way out has never been her way to go about things either.]

[offline]

[taijiya]

[One other thing that makes them alike.]

...was it worth it? Being with Harry, I mean. You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

[offline]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

[Raven shrugs.] I don't mind answering. [A pause.] It was worth it. It really was.

He'll always be my first love. At least the first one with whom I shared a love that was genuine. [The first guy she fell in love with back in her world only pretended to love her back so that she'd help him. And then he tried to kill her and all her teammates.] I might never find love again back in my world. So at least here I got the chance to know how that felt.

[Raven suspects Sango has personal reasons to ask her this. But she'd rather let the other girl tell her if she feels like it.]

[offline]

[taijiya]

[Oh, she does. She has plenty of personal reasons, including a certain conversation having taken place, chronologically, earlier that day.]

Worth it. [She echoes softly, hugs her knees.] But because you were with him... didn't that make you a bigger target for his enemies, and him a bigger target for yours? Provided they showed up here.

[Aaaaand she's probably being really obvious here, but she trusts Raven enough to pretty much confess.]

[offline]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

[Strangely enough, that brings a smile upon Raven's lips.] I remember having this conversation with Harry. He told me he didn't want to put my life in danger, that if I'd rather stay away from him if things got dangerous, he would understand... (She smirks.] My answer was to punch him.

[Raven pours some more tea in Sango's mug and in hers.] Harry promised never to suggest that again.

[offline]

[taijiya]

[She can't help a smile at that as well, but it quickly fades into seriousness again.]

But, Raven, what if it was the other way around? You wouldn't want to put him in danger like that, would you? Just like he didn't want to endanger you.

[offline]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

No, I wouldn't. And I'd do my best not to. [Back home, she pushed her teammates away, refused their help because she thought there was nothing they could have done to help her and she didn't want to pointlessly put them in danger. But if what Red X told her is true... She had been wrong.]

...But he probably wouldn't listen to me. Just as my teammates back home didn't. Just as I didn't listen when he told me to stay away.

If you love someone here, it's already too late. He will get involved.

[offline]

[taijiya]

[It says a lot that she's taking all Raven's words into consideration instead of blindly denying it and going back to futilely trying to stop the people she cares about from getting involved in her problems...]

[Well, she's probably still going to do that. She's stubborn. But at least it's progress.]

[Raven's right, and Sango knows it. Especially with her conversation with Inuyasha echoing in her head (people are going to get hurt either way) and her own nature (because it's true, she wouldn't listen if someone told her to stay away in a situation like that--and neither would Riku, because he's just as stubborn as she).]

[But that last statement is actually kind of terrifying. It's already too late. He will get involved. Words she never wanted to hear, words she wants to struggle against and beat back with futile logic. Words she's been avoiding for far too long. Naraku is here. People are already involved...]

You know... I hate to say it, but you might be right.

[offline]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

[Raven snorts softly.] At times like these, I'd rather be wrong.

[Another sip of tea.] Do I know him? You don't have to answer this if you don't want to.

[offline]

[taijiya]

[Sango sips, too, to collect her thoughts.]

It's only fair, isn't it? You talked about Harry for me.

I think you know Riku, right? [She pauses.] Earlier today. He... asked about it. And I can't exactly say I, personally, don't want to, but... well, you know the kinds of complications. Naraku. Getting sent home. Any multitude of the Animus' games...

[offline]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

[Raven nods.] I do, yes. We'll be working on his project together. [She's a bit surprised because she thought Riku was already dating a boy from his world, but she certainly won't comment on that.] Having a solid relationship with someone is never easy anyway. Whatever the place or circumstances. Ordeals only make love deeper, they say. [She pauses for a moment.] Is there someone you love too, back home?

[offline]

[taijiya]

[Sango thought so, too. But Sora left. Apparently, not for the first time, either. And she knows that Riku wouldn't use her like that.]

[She stares down at her cup with a frown.] ...it's been five months, and I've had a lot of time for reflection. And even when we were back home... sometimes I thought so, sometimes I didn't. Most of the time I didn't--the only reason I say maybe now is because Kururu blasted me with his confession beam at one point and the first thing I blurted out was that I had feelings for him.

But... he's a womanizer, a pervert, and he's always extorting someone. On the other hand, he is brave, wise, and under the less virtuous things... he is a good person, and a bit of a broken one, and maybe that's why he does those other things. But... he and I never seemed to go anywhere. He'd just as soon grope me as ask another woman to bear his children. [Sigh.] Anything of any significance he said to me was immediately negated by some ridiculous antic of his right afterwards. I never knew--never know where I stand with him. Frustrating is an understatement.